To my young heart…I promised you that I would remember, that I would keep the truth securely in my timeless soul, safe from maturity and responsibility; away from the sleeping sickness that makes all grown ups forget. But I broke that promise like so many others. Somewhere the truth slipped out of my pocket. So now I must go and jump in puddles, make mud pies, fly kites, and sing in rounds. Building forts and blowing bubbles until I remember what it is to be New.
by Susan Shipsey ~ 2011
Regardless of our age, versions of our younger self remain somewhere in our hearts. For you, it may be the playful uninhibited child, the shy embarrassed teen, or the hopeful contented bride. Whatever your experiences, good or bad, all these versions of you in time live with the present you. The degree to which you are connected with those versions of yourself speaks to the degree of integration or wholeness you enjoy. Your true beauty lies in being well connected and at peace with your past and not stuck in it – or worse, victimized by it.
Recently I have been exploring… revisiting the little girl that lives in my heart. I was completely caught off guard by the fact that when I spoke to her, she was quite angry with
me. “Why?” I pleaded. It seems that she has felt terribly abandoned. She was left alone, while the rest of me all too quickly grew up and took over responsibility for everything around me. She wanted desperately to escape, to be set free to play and take joy in the days – a skill I am sorely lacking as an adult. I had no idea that I had abandoned her, but it made sense out of a lot of things and resonated as truth to me.
What is the trueness about you? Did you abandon childhood all too quickly? Have you stayed there much too long? Whatever the case, it is important to know the truth about ourselves and to give that inner voice a chance to speak. We must make peace with the young heart in us and try to reconcile the disappointments and broken promises that we made to ourselves.
For me, a promise broken was that I would remember what it felt like to be young. I would remember not to speak down to children, not to judge them or be critical of them. I would remember how tender their hearts are and how much they need to be loved and cherished. I must be honest that I have not stayed tender to these things as much as I had promised myself I would when I was young. I have forgotten much that I meant to remember.
There is only one remedy for me, I must return to the mud puddles and bike rides of my little girl years and rediscover what has been lost. When I am back from this journey, I will tell you what I have learned! In the meantime, enjoy this wonderful video by Sigur Ros. This band is from Iceland and you will most likely not understand the words, but let your young heart remember, and it will translate for you.