Your broken heart, it happens to all of us at some point. We trust our heart to someone and they do not respect or care for it with the tenderness it deserves – or someone important abandons us, by decision or death or otherwise, and we end up with what people call a “broken heart.” To truly live we must love, but there are inherent risks in that just like there are risks in flying or driving. We know the risks but we must take them in order to get where we want to go in life. We want to share our hearts and feel connected; we want to live our lives in love. This is both a wonderful and a frightening desire. To break a leg is one thing, but to break your heart, well…that is a much more serious injury if left untreated.
It would seem unthinkable to fracture a bone and simply try to ignore it; numb the pain, or distract ourselves until it heals, yet this is exactly what people do with a broken heart. We have no medicine for this ache; we know no specialist; we have no remedy for this invisible agony. Matters of the heart are often ignored or deemed unimportant, yet the heart is central to our lives. To ignore the needs of our heart is to ignore our deepest self. All kinds of side-effects can result if a broken heart is left untreated. Anger, bitterness, unhealthy declarations and decisions, even the deadening of the heart can occur when a broken heart is ignored. So how do we mend it?
1. Acknowledge the truth that your heart is hurting.
Because you can’t go to the E.R. for a broken heart, people often just do nothing. We simply don’t know what to do but wait it out. It is true that time heals, but if you don’t reset this break, you may love with a limp because of it. Take an honest look at your heart. Tell yourself the truth about the condition you are in.
2. Begin to assess the damage.
This is a very important step. Spend some time alone with a pen and paper. Make a list of how you are feeling. Listen to the messages you are hearing in your head. Are they true? Write out your feelings and the messages. For example: I am feeling abandoned, betrayed, angry, misunderstood, etc… These thoughts are coming into my head: I must not be enough. How will I survive? My life is over. What’s wrong with me?
Look at the truth. Were you abandoned or mistreated? Did your own behavior contribute to the situation? What will the consequences be if you act on how you are feeling now? Sort out your feelings on paper. Seeing them written down makes the tangled mess in your heart more clear. Assess what is true. Dismiss any messages or thoughts in your head that are not true. Kick out the lies and hold fast to what you know is the truth.
3. Pick up the pieces. (Gather yourself again and remember who you are.)
Sometimes if we are people pleasers or in an unhealthy relationship we give away our own power. If you have given away part of yourself or lost sight of who you are as an individual, then it will be important to remember your true self. You must remember who you really are. You are a powerful, creative, compassionate, loving human being. You were created as a whole. You are a complete person, in and of yourself. No one else can complete you. You must take responsibility for yourself and your power as a person. Reconfirm the truth about yourself.
4. Open up instead of closing off.
When you slam your thumb with a hammer you immediately draw it close to yourself. This is a normal reaction to pain. We draw in to ourselves. After the initial shock subsides, however, it is important to open up again. There are many ways to do this, but for healing to come you must be open. Show your pain to someone you trust. Share your feelings out loud. Use your resources, like prayer, your spiritual leadership, your journal, your counselor or friend. For a wound to heal it must be opened up and cleaned out. Let the negative feelings go and welcome healing.
5. Make it history.
When the time comes it is important to make the past the past. It is often challenging to let go of our pain and to think about the future. Sometimes it is helpful to physically do something to create a sense of letting go. We recommend that you consider an act of release to seal your time of heartbreak and grief. Find a way to let go of your negative feelings. Write them down and bury them; cover a balloon with your sad feelings and hurt then let it fly away; float them down a nearby stream. Look for a way to separate yourself from this painful experience in a way that has meaning to you.
We want to offer you a special opportunity. Sometimes we need to feel that there is someone out there who would receive our story and keep it safely. We need to release it to someone. We want to entrust our painful experience to someone who will hold on to it because they care about our heart.
Meri and I care about your heart and we want to offer to hold your story for you. You are welcome to write down the pain and heartache you have experienced and send it to us. Tell us your story. Please mark on the envelope if you want us to read it or if you would rather it remain sealed. We will respect your request. Maybe you just need to let it go this way. You do not need to include your name or return address unless you would like an encouragement card from us.
We will keep your letter in a safe place and send our love and prayers your way. You letter will be kept confidential and shredded after one year. Meri and I spend many hours together each week and we talk about you, our readers, and how we want you to know that we care. This is a small way we can show you that.
Please send your story to : Save Goodness. 309 Morton Avenue. Nashville, Tn. 37211
You are also welcome to email us @firstname.lastname@example.org
One final word…care well for your heart. Give it time to mend. It is the birthplace of Goodness and it deserves to be respected and nurtured. Don’t forget the importance of a daily dose of Beauty, Trueness, Love, and Life-Giving things.
Is your heart broken? Follow these important steps to help it mend. Take good care of your heart. It is the birthplace of Goodness.